Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

It sounds like WWE has an explosive angle planned for SmackDown - Cageside Seats

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Milky Way galaxy might not collide with Andromeda after all - Ars Technica

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Companies are struggling to fill manufacturing positions, let alone plan for what Trump's administration has in mind - Business Insider

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t cotton to rapists

Scientists develop 'mosquito STD' to combat malaria - Phys.org

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Taraji P. Henson says Hollywood went silent after her Oscar nod—until Tyler Perry called - TheGrio

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Can a bride cheat on her groom at a wedding?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Texas ends in-state tuition for undocumented students after Abbott, AG agree to DOJ demand - Dallas News

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Has anyone ever participated in a gang bang and what was it like?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have complete contempt for fakery

Stopping alcoholism gets smarter with smartwatches - The Brighter Side of News

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Astronomers stunned as giant planet challenges what we know about space - The Independent

I have complete contempt for traitorism

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I can count

What are the most common signs that a partner will cheat before it happens?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Why don’t people show patriot Donald Trump the respect he deserves? He’s successful in business, politics, and with the ladies.

I can read

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Billy Joel cracking jokes about ‘getting old,’ ‘cremated’ after brain disorder diagnosis, Tribeca doc director shares - New York Post

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

NASCAR Cup Series qualifying order for Michigan International Speedway - NASCAR.com

I actually pay taxes

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

S.A.-area rabies cases spark concern for officials. Here's why - MySA

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t buy bullshit

I see through liars

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP